Apologies

I'm sorry guys that I haven't posed at all recently. I've been on and off busy. My sleeping schedule is so screwed up right now. That's why I'm posting after midnight.

Within the past two weeks I have taken the PSAT, started training for work, had my car searched for drugs at school, and started talking to this guy I like.

Lets start with the PSAT. Yes, it was a huge pain. Then again testing for 3 hours straight is never exactly fun. It was easier than last year though. I guess that's a good thing.

Ah, work. I work at the local Journeys store. It's fun and seems pretty easy. Well, I guess you could say it IS pretty easy. There's no uniform. I love that. I get to be social. Even more fun. The only part I don't like is the stock room. Well just let me tell you. If you're afraid of heights, a place where you have to get the product for the costumer (ie a shoe store) is a bad place for you. The stock room is about maybe 12-16 feet high. I'm terrified of heights and I have to climb ladders. Eek! But other than that I'm enjoying it quite well.

Ah, yes, the best part. Last Thursday (10/18/12) my school had the K-9 unit do a sweep of our parking lot. They tagged my car. Of course, I was freaking out wondering how drugs could've gotten in my car. They didn't find any in there of course. But I was still freaking out. It was an overall good day. (Insert intense sarcasm).

Needless to say, I've been talking to this guy for a couple weeks. We've hung out a couple times and we know we like each other. It's why this is so frustrating because I don't know whether or not I can say I'm taken or still single. Such a gray area! Ugh! Haha anyway! He's really sweet. We have a lot of similar interests but social opposites. I don't know how we'll it will work out, but we'll see.

I'm off for now guys.
Later!

ASVAB Testing

So, today I had to take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery). It's a career placement test. I found it easier this year compared to last year. But then again they haven't changed the test since 2002. It was the exact same material. If I could remember exact details like that, I'd think I even had the exact same test booklet. However, I won't know my scores until November.  Oh, well, I felt like telling you all how my head basically exploded from the mass of this test. I don't work well under pressure. Considering that each portion is timed, I was pretty stressed. It also bothers me that each time limit is so random.  9, 11, 24, 17, 32 minutes varying on the sections. It was just RANDOM! Can't you just say 10 minutes, 25 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes? Seriously?
Oh, well, the test questions were extremely basic. They say it's supposed to prepare you for the SAT. No. Just no. It doesn't. It's a LOT easier than the SAT. I'm taking the PSAT again tomorrow. (I took it last year) The PSAT is a lot harder than the ASVAB.
Oh well. Enough for now, I have to go to Chemistry. Au Revoir.

Writing 4

October 15, 2012

Thinking. I'm not speaking.
What am I supposed to say.
My words, you'll never understand
Society pushed my kind aside
They'll never understand us.
Their language is all new
Baby you've lost me.
I don't understand
What am I supposed to say
My mouth is open
No sound comes out.
No one is around.
How can I ask for help?
Do you know anything?
Can you do anything?
Stare at my hands.
Something is missing
Look around
Many things are missing
My life. What happened
What has it become?
I want to curl up?
I want to hide.
I know I need to stand
I know I need to fight
My impatience gets the best of me
Eventually I'll break
The countdown begins
3...2...1...

Writing 3

October 12, 2012

Do you really think you can run?
Did you really think you could hide?
How could you escape?
When it's all inside your mind?
You can't escape your fears
They'll get you soon.
You can't escape what's in your mind
You can't escape yourself!
When you try to scream
But you don't make a sound.
Is this your worst nightmare?
No one hears your cries.
All you need is help.
Cries and pleas but no one hears you.
Your fears coming alive.
Close your eyes
Tell yourself it's only a dream.
Silly child, gullible child
Open your gullible eyes
Face your fears they won't just disappear.
When will you realize: It's all real.
You can't avoid it.
You can't run from it.
It's here. In front of you.
You're just too blind to see.
Your eyes betray you.
They trick your mind.

Writing 2

October 11, 2012
Running in circles
Can't find my way
I've lost you once
Won't lose you twice
Don't know what I'm
Doing. Don't know
Where I'm going.
Running in circles
I don't know
So confused.
Is the world really
Spinning?
The sounds are
Getting louder
Sights are getting
Brighter.
My touch is so
Sensitive. Shouldn't
I be numb? Why
Can I feel?
Why are my senses
So strong. I
Can't breathe
Through the pain.

Writing 1

October 10, 2012

You'll never fully
Understand the story
Behind her eyes.
You'll never truly
Believe what she
Actually says.
You treat her as
If she never cries
She really dies a
Little more every
Night while she's
Alone. She's never
Really happy when
Her past is always
There. You never take
The time to listen
When she really
Needs you to care.
She just needs you
To listen. If only
You could realize
Her story isn't
Fake. She doesn't
Lie about it.
Her face betrays
Her fears. Your eyes
Betray your lies.
All I never knew
Is now all to clear.

Note

I'm going to start putting my notebook writings on this blog, also. These first three or four are from last week. They're in my notebook which I'm taking these writings from. They're just random thoughts I've written down. I'd work on the same writing all day. I wouldn't start a new one until the next day. So, they may run together. They may not.
Thanks